West Palm Beach

This was the best move of my life.  It was in West Palm that I became a conscious functioning individual. 

Jim and I found a really great apartment and I got a job as a waiter at a Bennigans.   I had never waited tables before, and thought it would be fun.  I continued to get to know David Patient as I found him fascinating.  We became good friends and he taught me allot about asking for what I wanted.

I became a bartender at a West Palm Beach institution, H.G. Roosters, a little rustic place where everyone stopped by for a drink.  I had a great time while I was working there.

It was at a dance club when I was first approached by a guy in a t-shirt from something called Stop-AIDS.  He explained that they were getting names and phone numbers of people to invite to a one-time discussion group to talk about HIV/AIDS.  I gave him my information.  For the next three weeks, I received a call, once a week to schedule me into a discussion group, and after the third week, I finally, reluctantly agreed to attend one.

It was at some one's apartment, and I remember I was so nervous.  I was also scared of looking stupid.  I knew about HIV/AIDS, but had never done anything like this, and was concerned that I would somehow be embarrassed. 

What I found at this meeting was a tremendous sense of connection and community with the other guys.  It felt so good to share from an emotional level and declare our commitments to ending the spread of HIV/AIDS.  I stayed after and spoke with the facilitator and discovered that he too was a volunteer and was also a volunteer with something called The Experience.

I was inspired and re-energized.  It felt like I had stumbled onto a whole new outlook on life.  I decided to get involved with The Stop-AIDS Project as a volunteer.  It was amazing meeting such great folks that were being so giving of themselves. 

My original facilitator and I began dating and we were together for around 9 months.   I learned a great deal from him.  I participated in The Experience in September of 1991 in Ft. Lauderdale.  This was truly a turning point in my life.   Through my participation in that workshop, I discovered what my life could be, and now had the tools necessary to create it.

I continued my volunteer work with Stop-AIDS.  I became an outreach Team Leader, Volunteer Orientation Trainer and a Facilitator.  It was all so rewarding.

I had been working with the Private Industry Council and their Summer Youth Program, when I got a call from Wayne, (my original facilitator whom I was dating) asking if I would be interested in working with a wealthy woman as her assistant.  Not knowing exactly what that would be, I said I was interested and he arranged a meeting.

At the time, all I knew was I was meeting a socialite/artist in her 40's with two children.  She lived in Boca Raton, and needed someone to manage her household and art studio.  She also had a couple of computers and needed someone who was computer literate.  The woman was Mary Fisher.

When I first met her, there was this overwhelming feeling of connection.  Like we had known each other before.  An instant comfortableness.  We chatted and I agreed to make a one year commitment to being her assistant.

I later found out that Mary knew Rob Eichberg, founder of The Experience, and it was through my volunteer work with Stop-AIDS and The Experience that brought me to her.   Mary had recently been diagnosed with HIV and was beginning a journey of discovery, self awareness and planning a course for the future.  Mary was very well connected.   Her father, Max Fisher, was the largest fund-raiser for the Republican Party.   The Fisher family, from Detroit made their fortune in oil.  Often mistaken for the Fisher Body family. 

Mary had served as the first female Advance Man in the White House.  She was President Fords Advance Person.  President and Betty Ford were the god parents of her children.  Mary needed someone to manage her busy life, and was also HIV/AIDS aware.

The next year would be one of the most challenging in my life.  She wanted to make a difference around HIV/AIDS, and because of her background, white, wealthy, straight mother of two children, and her connections in Washington, she believed she could. 

The time I was with Mary was extremely rewarding and also extremely draining.  It wasn't a nine to five job, and if a nanny was ill, I was taking care of her kids, Max and Zach.  I still remember making paper airplanes and writing AirMax on the wings for the boys to play with.  I did get to meet some amazing people, including Betty Ford, Laurence Myers, Florence Henderson and Pia Zadora.

When Mary decided to go public with her story, life changed drastically.  Frank Bruni, a reporter from The Detroit Free Press flew down and spent several days with Mary and people close to her to get her story.  A picture of Mary with me in the background wound up in the story and on the eve the story was breaking, I was being hounded by reporters calling my house at midnight wanting to get statements from me.   I called Mary and she suggested I stay the night at her place.

I awoke in the wonderful Jungle Book themed play room to find the crew from Prime Time Live setting up and getting ready to interview Mary.  Diane Sawyer and Mary had met and worked together during the Ford Administration, and Mary felt Diane would be the best person to give here story to.

The next week consisted of non-stop interviews from all the major networks, cable, magazines, newspapers, you name it.  The phone never stopped ringing.  This was my crash course in dealing with the media.

Requests for Mary to speak started coming in, and Mary decided she would need to economize her energies to be the most effective.  We closed the studio and focused on Mary's new-found activism. 

She continued to use her access to the White House and arranged meetings with both President Bush and Mrs. Bush.  She spoke at the Republican Platform Committee Hearings.  AmFAR gave here the Award of Courage, (I still remember spending hours with Mary trying to get the guests that would be sitting at her two tables in the right places.)

The job of managing her life was already more than I could handle, and I was feeling like I wanted to get back on my own career path in computers.  Four months prior to my year being up, I let Mary know that I would not be re-signing.  Knowing what a personal position this was, I wanted to make sure she had adequate time to find someone she was comfortable with.

Mary's speech at The 1992 Republican National Convention was so emotionally moving, it was the first time I had ever saw republicans cry.  I was not with her in Houston, I was at the house, and remember fondly a very special phone call on the eve of her speech.

Bob Hattoy, the first gay man to address The Democratic National Convention, called to give Mary a very special message.  He said, "Tell Mary the only thing scarier than speaking at The Republican National Convention, was speaking at The Democratic National Convention, AFTER Aretha Franklin." I took the message down and congratulated Bob on such a wonderful speech he delivered.

As my time with Mary was drawing to a close, I found myself unsure of exactly what was next.  My relationship with Wayne had ended on very bad terms.  Although I loved West Palm Beach, it never felt like a home to me.  Two places kept coming back to me.   Indianapolis and Chicago.